Sunday, September 7, 2014

An ode to small blogs (Hang in there)

You know, blogging can be incredibly discouraging at first.
I mean, you put a great amount of time into publishing a post, you know?
First you go through the struggle of deciding what to write about. Sometimes it comes easier than others, but generally not so much. Then you slave over your computer and exert a great amount of energy into writing fabulous content. But some days you lack flow and inspiration, and thus, discouragement begins.
Then not only do you have the pressure to have bomb content, but amazing pictures. So you whip out the DSLR expecting glorious shots. But you just can't seem to get one damn decent picture. After a lengthy amount of frustration, you compromise with VSCOcam. Thank God for filters. You upload your pictures and organize your blog post, mostly likely add some tags and bam, ready for the publish button. However in the midst of hovering over the button, you get this rush of doubt.
Quickly you question your last couple hours.
What if nobody will read it? Can they even relate to it? Will somebody comment, unlike the last post? Is this even my style of writing style?! The anxiety runs high, but you decide to click publish and then view you blog. You read it once more through. Slightly mediocre, but you then you walk away trying to calm yourself from all the build up of emotions, while you wait for a few stats.
Maybe a few hours go by and your beyond eager to see if people care what you have to say. You go straight to audiences to see where and how many readers you have.  You scroll your eyes down the page... United States: 3
Three. A mere three people read what I had slaved over for hours. "This is some sick cruel world", I think to myself. "I'm giving up. Too much time and love put in to be let down like this."
But then my eyes scroll a little further. Turkey: 29
Holy man. Quickly I start cheesin'. This is amazing. Twenty-nine glorious human beings over in Turkey care what I have to say. While I am completely overjoyed of the increase of people reading my blog, I get a twinge of guilt.
My original goal of creating a blog flashes through my mind. To write and expand my horizons as a writer. I sometimes become too caught up in the views that I lose my own voice. I forget who I originally started writing for and why.
No wonder I "slave" and lose interest in blogging. I write for others which makes my goal foggy because I've become so focused on views and followers.
I sigh, shake my head, and stare at the screen for a moment. Inside I feel the emotions flowing through. That's when an idea hits me. An idea all my own. So raw. So real. So, my voice. Quickly I start writing a new post. My fingers typing away as if I were Bruce Almighty. Not too long later, it is finished. Without a doubt I publish the post and once again view my blog.
There she is in all her glory. Suddenly you become overjoyed with self satisfaction. You smile and read your post eight more times because it's THAT GOOD. Just kidding. It just becomes so satisfying to hear your own voice finally come through. I mean that is what blogging is about, after all.

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